Garissa steps up war on FGM, Vows more spending…..


Salaam my lovelies,

How y’all doing? Well and blessed I hope 😀

It has been a minute since I have last made a post here. Alhamdulillah, my kids and I went on a holiday trip back home with my entire family. It was our first time heading back and I have to say, it was definitely not what I expected it to be. Growing up, I have always saw Somalia in the news and pictured it to be exactly as it was portrayed to be. This is probably why we are always reminded to never judge a book by it’s cover. I have always imagined it to be unsafe with constant wars…etc so I couldn’t believe how safe and clean it was with an easy going life style. My kids loved it there and actually wanted to live there for good lol.

With that said though, some of the cultures people tend to follow down there absolutely sucked! One of the major ones being FGM. For those of you who might not know what FGM is, it stands for Female genital mutilation, also known as female genital cutting and female circumcision. It is the ritual cutting or removal of some of the external female genitalia. The practice is found in Africa, Asia and the Middle East, and within communities from countries in which FGM is common (Female genital mutilation – Wikipedia)

The older women just kept on asking my mother whether my daughters have been circumcised or not and when they found out they haven’t had it done and that I didn’t want to get it done for them, I was all of a sudden seen and considered as this bad mother lol. I also left there being referred to as “that girl with the cadaan (white) brain” haha. I guess for me, it was better having an cadaan brain than having a brain full of cultural nonsense lol. The other thing that annoyed me the most there was how they placed great emphasis on cultural practices than religious ones!

I was just reading through news articles on hiraan (a news site for somalis) and stumbled upon this amazing article. It’s awesome to finally see Somali women standing up and speaking against this ridiculous cultural practice. It does no good to our girls but cause a great amount of pain and misery in their lives. They would have definitely had my vote if I was living there, lets cheer them on y’all.

To read the article click here.

Until next time mommas, ma’salaama 😀


Somali mom who fled civil war cries at daughter’s graduation – and now we are too


Get out your tissues. This is amazing.

College graduate Ramla Tyrow posted an emotional and inspirational video to Twitter yesterday – a brief clip of her mom weeping and embracing her upon seeing her in her graduation cap and gown.

In Tyrow’s post, the 21-year-old thanks her mother for her sacrifices – fleeing war torn Somalia so that her daughter could have a better life and earn an education in England.

“Mama you ran from a civil war so I could be safe & get the education you didn’t. Today you cried when you saw me in my robe. Did it for you”

Tyrow told that her family fled Somalia when she was three, and that she’s been in the United Kingdom since the age of five.

This weekend she graduated with a BS in Pyschology and Counseling from Middlesex University in London.

In an interview with the BBC, Tyrow says she is the first person in her family to earn a college degree.
“My mum moved us here to give us a better future. Somalia wasn’t a very child-friendly place then,” she told the BBC. “Just after the ceremony, my mum told me how unbelievably proud she was that I was the first person in her family to graduate from university.”

In other Twitter posts, she hinted at the hardship her mother and her family endured.

She tells us that she hopes to pursue her “creative side” in the near future – including acting.

Congratulations Ramla – to you and your remarkable mother.

Watch: Ramla Bkchatldn’s mother cries at the sight of her daughter in her cap and gown at graduation

Click here to watch video

Shamso and family: A Somali Single mother’s story on U.K. Life

Salaam mommas and friends,

How y’all doing? Well and blessed I hope.

A friend of mine forwarded this wonderful cartoon series that’s based on a Somali mother’s actual real life. It’s amazing to see something like this and enjoyed reading this wonderful lady’s life story. Being a Somali single mother with four kids myself, it makes me proud to see our hard work being finally recognised. Bravo to Shamso and her beautiful little family. May God continue to bless her and her children. Ameen.






Help for Single Parents with No Me Time


Do you wish you had more “me time” in your life? Most single parents do! In fact, not having time to enjoy life, your kids, and some personal breathing room is one of the biggest complaints among moms and dads fighting single parent burnout. And it’s no surprise, because raising your kids on your own—or even with the help of a co-parent—takes all the time and energy you possess. One recent study found that most moms only get 17 minutes a day to themselves1.

That’s probably a conservative number, and yet many single parents—moms and dads, alike—get even less. So how can you get more out of the tiny little bit of time you do have? Use these research-based tips for single parents with “no time for me”:

Choose Quality Over Quantity

According to a recent study by Dr. Almuth McDowall, of the University of London at Birkbeck, what you do when you have a few moments of “me time” matters more than how much time you have to yourself. The study explored responses from 344 participants, who were asked about work-life balance, family relationships, engagement at work, and general life satisfaction. The results revealed that participants who engaged in what they perceived as high-quality me time activities experienced greater satisfaction than those who had more frequent pockets of time to themselves, but were less apt to use that time for something special2.

 For single moms and dads, the takeaway from this study is that quality time matters more than quantity of time. So make every effort to be intentional about what you choose to do when you do have time to yourself.

Say “Yes” to What Fuels You

It’s important to see “me time” as a gift that involves choice.

Because, let’s face it, it doesn’t come around every week—or even every month! While “me time” can’t always be planned in advance, avoid the tendency to use spontaneous pockets of time to do chores or catch up on work. Doing something you enjoy, that you might not otherwise get to do, will have a much greater impact on how you feel about yourself, those around you, and your life.

Examples of high-quality activities include spending time with friends, spending time outdoors, exercising, and enjoying a hobby. Turning to TV, Facebook, or surfing the Internet as go-to substitutes for high-quality, rejuvenating activities is common—but these are essentially time fillers, as opposed to activities that feed your deepest need for connection and vitality.

Don’t Let Guilt Overshadow Your Needs

Another study found that guilt stops many people from taking time for their own self-care3. And this is an issue that’s especially prevalent among single moms and dads who don’t have the benefit of a co-parent or nearby family to help with the kids. Faced with the option of hiring a babysitter or forgoing “me time,” many single parents simply press on and go another day, week, or month without time for themselves.

Avoid this temptation and try to carve out one evening of “me time” or social time per month.

Focus on the Benefits

When you feel burdened by single parent guilt, try focusing on the benefits you and your children experience when you do get a little “me time” now and then. In a poll we conducted here at, more than 400 single parents answered the question: Having a little time away from my kids makes me _____.

  • 18% said “less likely to overreact or raise my voice”
  • 15% said “able to cope with stress more easily”
  • 14% said “more patient”

Rather than viewing “me time” as a selfish act, see it as something that can help you be a more loving, present parent to your kids. And remember to start small. Even just a couple of hours a month to do something you enjoy can leave you feeling more grounded and hopeful!



1Coldridge, Alison. “Revealed! The Amount Of Time Mums ACTUALLY Get To Themselves.” Mother & Baby. N.p., 25 Feb. 2014. Web. 15 Mar. 2015. .

2British Psychological Society (BPS). “Good quality me-time vital for home and work wellbeing.” ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 7 January 2015. Web. 15 Mar. 2015..

3Gardasevic, Sanja. “Do You Know Why Achieving Work/Life Balance Is So Hard? We Do! [Survey Results].” .Me. N.p., 10 Feb. 2015. Web. 15 Mar. 2015. .

Find more great tips here

8 Mental Health Challenges Single Moms Face


Imagine you suddenly had sole responsibility for two children, earned around $26,000 a year, found your friends drifting away, and continually felt judged for your parenting, no matter how well you handled it.

Welcome to the life of a typical single mom.

As the founder of (Empowering Solo Moms Everywhere), I’m astounded by the resilience and fortitude of single moms, who currently are raising 23 million children in the United States alone. The route women take to single motherhood varies, but parenting alone is physically and emotionally demanding. For some single moms, it can take a toll on their mental health.

Every hour of every day, single moms rise to the occasion for their children, and they are doing an amazing job. Unfortunately many single moms don’t like to ask for help and often don’t even believe they need help.

For some single moms, stressors can pile up and lead to a mental health crisis. Some of the women who come to our site struggle with depression, anxiety disorders and PTSD. Sometimes they self-medicate with alcohol or drugs.

By identifying the eight most common mental health challenges facing single moms, my goal is to inspire them to seek support if they are struggling and for all of us to become Solo Mom allies.

1. Sleep Deprivation

Not surprisingly, single moms rarely get enough sleep. Why? Because they can get so much done when their kids are sleeping!

Laundry, housekeeping, night shifts, studying and other responsibilities often undermine a single mom’s chance at a good night’s rest. Sleep deprivation is a fragile foundation on which to cope with other challenges.

2. Inadequate Self-Care

Single moms are so busy and focused on their children that they don’t spend enough time on self-care and renewal. “Spa days” are a pipe dream for most single moms, and finding time to exercise can seem impossible. Self-care enables women to cope with the challenges of single parenting, but most single moms put their own care last on their to-do list.

3. Financial Insecurity

In the aftermath of divorce or the loss of a partner, single moms often become economically vulnerable. Minimum wage keeps many single moms below the poverty level—even when they’re working full time! Across America, homeless shelters are the final refuge for many single-mom families. Not surprisingly, poverty and economic hardship are linked to anxiety and depression.

4. Ongoing Conflict with an Ex

Divorce and separation are hard enough, but continuing conflict with a child’s other parent can erode a single mom’s mental health. Bullying, manipulation, withholding child support and violating divorce agreements are among the many behaviors divorced women tell us they face.

5. Weak Support Networks

When a woman becomes a single mom — whether by choice or circumstance — her friends often drift away when she needs them the most. Friends may choose sides, feel awkward or be unable to relate to a single mom’s new reality. Disconnection from community gives rise to feelings of alienation and hopelessness.

6. A Child or Children with Special Needs

Couples parenting children with special needs are more likely to divorce than the general population. Because moms overwhelmingly receive custody, they end up performing the lion’s share of these kids’ care.

In our special-needs groups on and Facebook, we are continually amazed by the selfless dedication of these single moms who do whatever it takes to help their child or children with special needs meet their potential. These moms are also most likely to sacrifice sleep and self-care.

7. History of Abuse

Rates of domestic violence and abuse have reached intolerable levels in society. A significant number of moms who seek support at ESME have left abusive relationships.

Although they’ve made the brave choice to leave, the psychological trauma lingers and can be easily triggered. Without support or resources, too many single moms carry a heavy burden of pain, which is often expressed in PTSD, depression and other mental health challenges.

8. Stigma and Judgment

Stereotypes of single motherhood abound. These judgments can come at any time — from a child’s teacher, another parent or a co-worker. I strive to honor and inspire single moms because the daily assault of negative assumptions about their parenting skills and moral character is demoralizing and unfair. It’s time to realize that single moms are invaluable to the fabric of American society and to treat them as such.

For single mothers facing any of these mental health challenges, here are five actions that can increase your sense of well-being:

1. Find your tribe: Connect with single moms who share similar challenges.

2. Ask for help: Even strong, independent women need help every now and then.

3. Network: Build your support network of friends, acquaintances, and allies.

4. Practice self-care: It doesn’t have to be expensive or take a lot of time, but it’s a necessity.

5. Seek professional support:

Counseling is literally a lifesaver when mental health is at stake. Given the stressors single moms encounter, combined with the overwhelming responsibility of raising children on one’s own, it’s clear they are our modern-day superheroes.

The next time you meet a single mom with fabulous children, recognize that there are millions like her. Better yet, become an ally and advocate by asking a single mom, how can I help?

Marika Lindholm is the founder of ESME [Empowering Solo Moms Everywhere], the social platform for Solo Moms, by Solo Moms. A trained sociologist and former professor, she taught classes focused on issues of inequality, diversity, and gender at Northwestern University.

10 Superfoods To Prevent Hair Loss…


Salaam mommas and friends,

How y’all doing? Well and blessed I hope 😀

As mothers, while busy doing our ‘mommy’ duties of taking care of those that depend on us, we neglect ourselves. We need to make time for ourselves as well and learn to look after our overall health so on that note, for the next few days, I will be posting articles containing tips and ideas on beauty, health, nutrition….etc. First article for today, 10 superfoods to prevent hair loss. Who doesn’t love beautiful, healthy and strong hair right?


Good nutrition is extremely important for healthy hair growth. It is one of the first things that you should work on when suffering from hair loss, excessive hair damage or slow hair growth.

Hair is a fast-growing tissue and what you eat can make a big difference in how your hair grows. For healthy hair growth, a variety of nutrients are required, including vitamins A, C, E, B5, B6 and B12, as well as iron, zinc, protein, essential fatty acids, silica, sulfur and germanium.

You can spend a lot of money on hair care products. But the best way to prevent hair loss and improve your hair’s appearance is to keep a close eye on what you eat. There are certain superfoods that can encourage hair growth and solve the problem of hair loss.


Continue reading here.

The do’s and don’ts of co-parenting….


Co-parenting, sometimes called joint parenting or shared parenting, is the experience of raising children as a single parent when separation or divorce occurs. Often a difficult process, co-parenting is greatly influenced by the reciprocal interactions of each parent. So, if you’re parenting in a healthy way but your Ex isn’t, your children will be at risk for developmental problems. Same goes if you’re being too permissive and your Ex is too stern.

Co-parenting requires empathy, patience and open communication for success. Not an easy thing to achieve for couples who’ve encountered marital issues. However, placing the sole focus on your children can be a great way of helping to make co-parenting a positive experience. Here are some tips.


1. Commit to making co-parenting an open dialogue with your Ex. Arrange to do this through email, texting, voicemail, letters or face to face conversation. There are even websites where you can upload schedules, share information and communicate so you and your Ex don’t have to directly touch base.
Rules should be consistent and agreed upon at both households. As much as they fight it, children need routine and structure. Issues like meal time, bed time, and completing chores need to consistent. The same goes for school work and projects. Running a tight ship creates a sense of security and predictability for children. So no matter where your child is, he or she knows that certain rules will be enforced. “You know the deal, before we can go to the movies, you gotta get that bed made.”

2. Commit to positive talk around the house. Make it a rule to frown upon your children talking disrespectfully about your Ex even though it may be music to your ears.
3. Agree on boundaries and behavioral guidelines for raising your children so that there’s consistency in their lives, regardless of which parent they’re with at any given time. Research shows that children in homes with a unified parenting approach have greater well-being.

4. Create an Extended Family Plan. Negotiate and agree on the role extended family members will play and the access they’ll be granted while your child is in each other’s charge.
5. Recognize that co-parenting will challenge you – and the reason for making accommodations in your parenting style is NOT BECAUSE YOUR EX WANTS THIS OR THAT, but for the needs of your children.

6. Be Aware of Slippery Slopes. Be aware that children will frequently test boundaries and rules, especially if there’s a chance to get something they may not ordinarily be able to obtain. This is why a united front in co-parenting is recommended.
7.Be boring. Research shows that children need time to do ordinary things with their less-seen parent, not just fun things.
8.Update often. Although it may be emotionally painful, make sure that you and your Ex keep each other informed about all changes in your life, or circumstances that are challenging or difficult. It is important that your child is never, ever, ever the primary source of information.
9. Go for the high notes. Each of you has valuable strengths as a parent. Remember to recognize the different traits you and your Ex have – and reinforce this awareness with your children. Speaking positively about your Ex teaches children that despite your differences, you can still appreciate positive things about your Ex. “Mommy’s really good at making you feel better when you’re sick. I know, I’m not as good as she is.” It also directs children to see the positive qualities in his or her parent too. “Daddy’s much better at organizing things than I am.”

Click here to continue reading.